EVERYTHING YOU WANT WILL WORK.

Very Very Long Post Alert –

This post is for the people who are new to my TL or my person. Those who know me from way back will resonate with this message.

Last week a very close friend was asking me about my transition into a new family and about my choices. In my reply, I said something to her that I want to encourage someone here with. I said:

I AM UNAFRAID TO DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO DO.

Since 2004 when I completed my NYSC, I have taken some very ‘crazy’ steps that, in retrospect, I am wondering what has kept me on this trajectory.

Let me share some.

1. After NYSC in Lagos (September 2004), I went back to my university ( Abubakar Tafawa Balewa University(ATBU),Bauchi ) to attempt to apply for graduate assistantship. It didn’t work. So I went back home to my parents at #AshakaCement so as to apply for a Masters programme. I applied to many universities in Sweden and I secured admission. Due to my family’s naivety with respect to applying for visas, my visa application was denied. Immediately the notice of decline was communicated, I told my Mum I was going back to Lagos to sort myself, get a job and just start a life. My Mum was distraught. She felt that I had advantage staying back. Her reason was that I had done my SIWES in Ashaka Cement so I was already an insider. Securing a job in the IT Department of Ashaka Cement was 99% a possibility; BUT I REFUSED !!!!! Against my Parents wishes, I left for Lagos. As God will have it, my university classmate, Innocent Chigozie Okwenna helped me secure a job within 30 days of leaving back to Lagos and as they say, the rest is history.
2. I worked from 2004 till 2011 with different employers in Lagos. My last employer was the then #ValuCard that is now #UnifiedPaymentServicesLtd (called UP). This last employment was my true training ground. This job exposed me and made me a complete professional. My first ever foreign trip to Russia via Dubai was sponsored by this company. I unleashed. While on this job, I discovered myself. I did so many certifications and became a Life Coach with Dr Lanre Olusola at Olusola Lanre Coaching Academy (a UK Licensed Franchise for Life Coaching). This was November 2010. Immediately I completed the certification, I told my Wife then that I wanted to start my own business. She was worried about our readiness to do that. She cautiously agreed. When I told my Boss Olusola Olakanmi, he was also very concerned and expressed his worry but gave his blessings anyway (because he noticed I was obstinate). Then I travelled to tell my parents who had just retired from their employment a few months ago. My Dad blessed my decision and prayed for me. My Mum RESISTED it. Her concern was “we just retired. Who will take care of us now if you stop working?” My siblings, Tim Obafemi and Obafemi Raphael, were torn in between both decisions. I PUT IN MY RESIGNATION AND STARTED MY FIRST BUSINESS CALLED BARNABAS HOUSE effectively July 1st 2011. (This particular story is fully captured in my book MY VALLEYS, which you can buy on my website). AGAIN, LIKE THEY SAY, THE REST IS HISTORY.
3. Between 2012 and 2016, my entire life was full of scandals. I had moved to Abuja from Lagos in 2012 and it was back to back stories of crisis, infidelities, bad press and chaos. MY LIFE WAS GRINDING TO A MESSY END. By the end of 2016, I looked at myself in the mirror and decided to take THAT ONE STEP THAT COULD DESTROY ME OR REMAKE ME. So December 2016, I left my marriage. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME EVER THAT I AM ESTABLISHING THIS FACT IN PUBLIC. Before I made this decision, I had written letters to several role models and friends, like Leke Alder, Poju Oyemade, Innocent Usar, The Catalyst and Praise Fowowe (PF). In fact, PF is the only person that probably knows ALL THE HISTORY of my crisis from 2012 till 2016. My decision to leave my marriage broke my Mum, caused a lot of pain in my family and shook the world around me. My brand was threatened by it. My integrity was threatened by it. My faith was questioned. I was vilified and I LOST MANY GOOD PEOPLE for it. I kept my motivation with 2 STATEMENTS OF PURPOSE: (a) If it means starting my life from ground zero all over again, so be it. (b) if it means being single all the rest of my life, I’d rather that than go back. These 2 statements kept me in check and kept me going. Today, almost 8 years later, after several attempts to find a wife, I am grateful to be blessed with Mrs O’ in Dorothy.
4. From 2016, I learnt how to deal with people differently. Today, I am a man who LOVES EVERYONE WITH EQUAL ATTACHMENT. I have come to learn that IF YOU DON’T LOVE PEOPLE UNCONDITIONALLY, THEY WILL BREAK YOU. In so many ways, many people DO NOT CARE TO KNOW YOUR ‘WHY’. Provided you don’t fit into their frame of what you should be and what you should do, they discontinue being with you. Gratefully, I have weaned from ‘wanting to be liked’. That happened between 2015 and 2016. I STOPPED SEEKING TO BE LIKED. I CHOSE ME. Every day, till today, friends will say ‘someone told me something about you’, ‘someone said this or that about you’… I tell them ‘I honestly don’t want to know the person and I don’t want to know what the person said’. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH FOR A LIFETIME. That’s why my wedding to Dorothy is PERSONAL AND INTIMATE for me. There are SO MANY PEOPLE WHO FEEL THEY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT IT. SO MANY WHO FEEL THEY DESERVE THE ENTITLEMENT OF BEING INFORMED ABOUT IT. It is ON PURPOSE that I have kept it WITHIN MY FAMILY AND BUSINESS. I decided that if my Father, Mother, Siblings, Children and Mentors are aware, I’m game. I decided that if my family and my Wife’s family give consent, we are good to go. I STOPPED LIVING FOR THE PUBLIC AND STARTED LIVING FOR MY HEART AND MY FAMILY. And that’s how I married Mrs O’. The only community I involved are CercaAfrica Communities. They were invited, carried along and even had the opportunity of joining an ONLINE WEDDING VIEWING GROUP. If you are not a Member of Cerca Africa, well, you missed that chance.

Why have I chronicled this lengthy history?

Because I want to remind you that NOTHING I DO IS A MISTAKE OR AN OMISSION. I OWN MY DECISIONS AND I STAND BY THEM.

If you know me from way back, this is me. If you don’t, welcome to me.

Lastly, some friends have been under pressure from other people who are asking them ‘why’, ‘when’, ‘what’, ‘how’, and all. My friends, if you are under pressure from people, please drop the pressure. I beg una. I am not under pressure to impress or please anyone. No need. Please let it go.

This message is not to excite you or provoke you. It is to inform you, on purpose. So that you don’t need to rely on gossips or hearsay. This is the first and only official summary of my decisions to date.

MOTIVATION:
If you are struggling with a decision in your life; if you are afraid people will leave you; if you’re stuck in your life; if you don’t even know what to do… if, if, if, … do the following:

1. PRAY TO YOUR GOD. God has proven to me that HE IS MY FATHER. No one can ever take that away from me. God has shown up for me, my Wife and our children than I can ever sufficiently testify about. I really thank God for HELPING ME.
2. Look back at your life and REMEMBER ALL YOU EVER WANTED FROM LIFE. Your future is embedded in your past. There is something you always wanted. There is HOW you always wanted things. WRITE THAT DOWN AND TELL YOURSELF “I GO RUN AM”. That picture is real and you will fulfill it WITH TIME, PATIENTLY.
3. Filter your ACCESS. There are friendly people who don’t mean well. Trust me. Be discerning. Prune your circle. Keep your tongue. Do your thing in silence. WIN THEN MAKE NOISE ABOUT YOUR WINS (if you are like me 😁. Yea!!! I know I make noise. I told someone yesterday “you know that anything I do, I make noise about it”. You guys have to get used to it. 😁🤣😂😂
4. Be DOGGED. Keep at it until it looks like it. PLEASE DO IT FOR YOU. FOR YOU! FOR YOU!! FOR YOU!!! Today, I have taught my Daughters that ANYTHING MAY GO SOUTH BUT NORTH CAN STILL HAPPEN. My children from Mrs O’ also know that LIFE CAN BE GLOOMY AND CAN BECOME BRIGHT AGAIN.
5. LIVE FOR YOU. STOP LIVING FOR THE PUBLIC. LIVE FOR YOU. Even your family will adjust. Everyone will adjust. LIVE FOR YOU.

This post has been SOOOO LONG. I am glad I got to complete it.

I am The Octopus 🐙